Passage

“The mystery of all love is that it actually precedes every act of choice; one chooses because he loves; he does not love because he chooses. The youth loves the maiden not because he chooses her from among maidens, but rather he elects and selects her as unique because he loves her. As St. Thomas puts it: ‘All other passions and appetites presuppose love as their first root.’”

Fulton Sheen in Three To Get Married

Today's Meditation

I choose to love you every day 

Fulton Sheen reminds us of the mystery that "love is not a feeling, but a decision." Married life entails ongoing denial of oneself in order to live constantly for the other. And this is where it all lands; it is, in fact, a decision we take every time we want to live for our spouse rather than for our own selfish desires.

Since the moment we got married, we have had this little tradition of telling each other, “I choose to love you every day." This has changed the way we see each other and the gift of marriage. When we say this, we remember the vows we made to each other and God. And most importantly, we express that even in the good and the bad, we will still choose each other to love and hold.

Love even when it hurts

Love certainly does bring many emotions with it, which we should not suppress but rather cherish. However, we live in a society that is very fragile and has a misconception of love. For society, love is just a feeling, and if this emotion is hurt, then there’s no love. When feelings get hurt, love should not vanish simply because of a disagreement or argument. Even in those moments, we should choose to love. Even when our spouse hurts us in an argument, we should still love. Think of Jesus; even at the point of his death, he still loved.

It is important to remember that during arguments, we might speak from the emotion of hurt or anger rather than from our hearts. It will be our lower nature speaking, and we might say things we shouldn’t. But we shouldn’t stop loving. On the contrary, in these moments, we should choose to love and be open to forgiveness.

Let's say that your spouse is saying something to you way out of line, and you know it is not true. In that moment, you have two options: one is to bring your head down and just peacefully speak to your spouse from the heart with the truth, or option two is to get mad and argue at the fact that what you are hearing from your spouse is a lie or misunderstanding. Again, it is a decision to die to oneself and conquer our lower nature, which tends to lean into pride and ego. You must die to yourself and make a decision that leans towards compassion, patience, and love. Choosing to act in love with your spouse is essential because feelings can deceive and lead to poor decisions when not guided by your will, which is shaped by your intellect.

Choose love!

Lent is a time for love, a time to die to ourselves and truly love our spouse. May our marriage resurrect with Christ in Easter, and may our hearts be filled with a fiery love that comes from God, to be able to choose love when it hurts, to love when we don’t feel like it, to choose to love every day!

Today's Questions

Have you chosen to love your spouse every day? What can you do to prevent yourself from loving?

What should you start doing more as a couple to protect and cherish your marriage?

Today's Challenge

Look into each other's eyes, hold hands, and exchange rings like on your wedding day. Tell each other the wedding vows.

I (name) take you (name) to be my wife/husband. I promise to be faithful to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, to love you and to honor you all the days of my life.

Don't Forget

Pray together the HOLY ROSARY every day (sorrowful mysteries only)

Pray OVER EACH other every day

Let's Pray

O most Sacred Heart of Jesus, King and center of all hearts, dwell in our hearts and be our King; grant us by Your grace to love each other truly and chastely, even as You have loved Your spotless Bride, the Church, and have given Yourself up for her.

Bestow upon us that mutual love and Christian forbearance which are so highly acceptable in Your sight, and a mutual patience in bearing each other's defects; for we are certain that no living creature is free from them. Do not permit even the slightest defect to mar that full and gentle harmony of spirit, the foundation of the mutual assistance in the many and varied hardships of life, that is the end for which woman was created and united inseparably to her husband.

O Lord God, grant that between us there may reign a perpetual holy rivalry toward a life perfectly Christian, by virtue of which there may shine forth more and more clearly the divine image of Your mystic union with Your Holy Church, as You have deigned to imprint it upon us on the auspicious day of our being made one, and so living, may both of us ascend into heaven, and merit to praise You and bless You forever. Amen.

Prayer Source: Family for Families, The by Francis L. Filas, S.J., The Bruce Publishing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, 1947

Dedicate to Jesus one HOLY HOUR of Adoration per week