"TRUE SEXUAL FREEDOM"

AGAPE40

DAY 13

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Passage

"You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery’; but I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart."

Matthew 5:27-28

Today's Meditation

The Heart of Man

Committing adultery in one's heart sounds rough, but one must remember that Jesus also explained that all evil that comes through the mouth is from the heart, and to understand in what context he is talking about, let's read: Do you not realize that everything that enters the mouth passes into the stomach and is expelled into the latrine? But the things that come out of the mouth come from the heart, and they defile. From the heart come evil thoughts: murder, adultery, unchastity, theft, false witness, and blasphemy. These are what defile a person, but to eat with unwashed hands does not defile.” Matt. 15:17-20. Every time we have read this, it has bugged our minds because we have understood for so long that all good things also come from the heart of man, and it is like, how can all good and also all evil of man come from the same place in the heart? Jesus made it clear, and he was teaching us that the things that we consume are what can remain in our hearts and, in moments, will show out those ugly and evil thoughts, acts, etc. that we have allowed ourselves to consume.

You may be wondering what that has to do with today’s passage. Well, today’s passage is a very important one that changed the view of the Jews on how they act themselves within their marriage. They will follow to the best of their ability to “not commit adultery,” but for them it is the bodily actions of having another woman outside of the covenant of marriage, but Jesus has taken it way further and explicitly says that “ everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. "When Jesus says this is from a place of authority, because he implied “but I say to you” letting everyone know that he has authority to say what's a sin or not. Therefore, to commit adultery is not only a physical act but also one of the mind and heart, which starts there before the physical movement.

The heart of man can either be fulfilled with goodness or evil; you choose which one you wish to fulfill your heart with, and whatever you fulfill your heart with is what will pour out to your wife and loved ones.

Chastity in Marriage

Chastity in marriage is not so much talked about in our Catholic culture today because chastity is only upheld during the courtship stage for many people, as if chastity is just about not having sex outside of marriage. Chastity is the virtue that puts in trial our Agape love for our beloved, because one practices chastity for Love for God and love for your spouse. Chastity goes way beyond just the physical sexual act; it speaks of the HEART, it is a yes to embracing freedom when loving your spouse, is the true freedom to choose to truly love, die to yourself, and donate yourself for your beloved. When we see our spouse with the eyes of love shouting chastity, those eyes say, “My eyes only belong to you alone." Chastity in marriage is what can keep the heart and mind united to your spouse in Eros-Agape love.

What corrupts chastity in marriage?

In our society today, chastity in marriage is one of the things that is violated the most and has also become a normal violation within marriage. Even many say that it is totally normal for a man or woman to cheat in marriage. That is so sad. The reason we are there today is because sin has clouded the minds of many, and what was always good, now is abnormal, and what was always bad, today is seen as the norm. People today have chosen to be conducted for their own low passions and act as animals, not embracing true sexuality that screams for exclusivity.

Lust, masturbation, and fornication are the three pillars of death toward chastity in marriage. One thing they all have in common is “selfishness.”. The non-stop seeking of self-sexual gratification is what drives the man (all men and women) to fall into the darkness of an unchaste heart.

We must avoid, at all costs, any company that gets us close to any sexual disorder. It doesn't matter who that person means to you; if they drive towards that, you must put a stop, because before your relationship with that person is your fidelity to God and your spouse. We must avoid all kinds of soft and hard pornography from our lives, whether it be in your social media or any content material you consume, i.e., movies, TV shows, podcasts, etc. Anyone who suggests to you that you engage in any act against chastity does not come from God. St. Peter tells us, “Be sober and vigilant. Your opponent the devil is prowling around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.”The devil will take any opportunity you give him to sneak into your mind and heart to destroy your marriage, husband, and wife. You must both protect your marriage at all costs for the love of Christ and the sacredness of your marriage.

CULTIVATING CHASTITY IN MARRIAGE

The most beautiful thing we have experienced in our marriage is the fruit of our eight years of chastity through courtship. Those years forged our future, now marriage, and all we can say is THANK YOU, JESUS, chastity for us has been a cornerstone of our love. Our love survived so many years of courtship, and it was mainly through God but intentionally practicing chastity. Custody of chastity in prior marriage sets out the path towards marriage to live a beautiful ero-agape love because it helps shape your heart to love fully and freely to each other.

There are a couple of ways to cultivate chastity in your marriage. One is to look into your spouse's eyes every day, at least for 30 seconds to a minute, and proclaim each other's love for one another. The second is to hug for at least 30 seconds every day. This is biologically very important because it will release oxytocin, which is a hormone that helps cultivate attachment among each other. It will also help to lower cortisol levels to relieve stress. The third is to remember your wedding day and how important it is to live out your vows every day. And last, whenever you engage with your spouse in physical intimacy, make sure to tell each other how much you love each other.

Chastity is the cornerstone of Agape love in marriage.